29 June 2021 | my past
I remember Aaron said to me once just be a mum and listen. Honest and harsh words but what he said meant allot to me. As your children grow up to adults and leave home your life changes. I always have to put my children first but they don’t see that any more. I guess as parents or perhaps it was they way our life journey evolved. I lost my voice to express what and how I felt. My children are all parents now and they can learn and experience parenthood for themselves. Now as time goes on how do I overcome being alone. At 1am in the morning when I wake up and cry until I can’t breath because of the loss in my life the estranged relationship that has developed between my living children I think what is the point. I have to hold on to words like hope and why. I need a why in my life. There are no solutions or answers to fixing my loneliness and just like being a new mum I didn’t get a book on raising children . I believe you are a product of your environment and you can always change your environment.